Grief, Bereavement and Loss

In grief, bereavement and loss, we confront a complex tangle of feelings and thoughts. It is a highly individual process and you might find yourself needing different things at different times or not really knowing what you need at all.

Seeking support at a sensitive time full of changeable emotions is one way of navigating that journey. Having someone hold space for all that you feel, all that you need to share or just to be there in a time of change and acknowledge your loss.

‘We need to back away from thinking of grief as a model and instead be open to all the complexity, diversity, variability and ambiguity that may be involved’

Paul Rosenblatt

bereavement

It is normal to feel angry, sad or lonely when a loved one dies or leaves. Even the loss of a pet can have a major psychological effect. Working through your feelings with a therapist can help you come to terms with your loss.

Bereavement is not only a very emotionally distressing experience but can also leave people feeling confused, afraid and dislocated from their sense of who they normally are and how they normally respond. Part of learning how to deal with bereavement is adjusting to living in a world that is very different without your loved one.

Counselling can help you understand your complex and painful emotions and reduce the distress you may have about how you are feeling. Counselling can help you integrate the feelings of loss into your life and support you as you adapt to life without your loved one.

grief

There’s no correct way to feel when you’re grieving. Bereavement and loss affect people in different ways and cause different emotions, feelings and symptoms. Counselling can help you deal with a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, loneliness and guilt.

The feelings and thoughts that come can be messy, ugly and uncomfortable. Sometimes they surface when we don’t want them to, and sometimes we feel bad because we can’t seem to feel the loss in the way that we or others expected.

It can sometimes be compared to having to pack a suitcase very quickly – you choose the largest suitcase you’ve got and chuck everything in it. You don’t have time to fold things neatly, you just need to pack. In counselling, you bring that suitcase in and you take bits out as and when you’re ready. You choose what you don’t need any more and what things you want to keep. Some things can be neatly folded, and over time you can pack things into a smaller suitcase.

In time, memories that were once painful can become cherished.

loss

Many people who have experienced a loss have so much going on in their lives. They are struggling to make sense of it all, they do not have that time to process or reflect on what is happening. Counselling gives you that.

Loss is not just about death; you could also lose a relationship, a job or your health. Losing someone or something you love is very painful and you may experience many difficult and surprising emotions, such as shock, anger, grief and guilt. Therapy can help and support you through this difficult period of your life.